Thoughts on getting legally married? Does it make sense to or not? Especially for those in Canada im curious what your thoughts are!

If the couple is ready I say why not, I don’t see why it wouldn’t make sense what made you ask this? Just out of curiosity!

@seechell oops I wasn’t clear! I mean getting married in the eyes of the government (legal paperwork, financial reasons, etc) Some people don’t see the reason to get married since there might be disadvantages or vice versa Im just curious on peoples thoughts :)

Do you mean for couples who are in a relationship anyway or for friends/people who get legally married for practical/financial/societal/other reasons? Or both situations ?

@bluerose9 for couples who are already in a committed relationship! But I guess also both?

It really depends on your financial situations and goals and also things like if you plan to have kids, there are all kinds of legal nuances so I would do your research (I don't know that much about it yet but planning to do that research since I'm engaged.)

Not into it 🙅🏽‍♀️ don’t see the point of all the paperwork and money spent. Also my experience was growing up in a divorced household and so you gotta spend money on the divorce too which can be fkn crazy. I’d rather NOT deal with all the stress of doing it and then maybe one day undoing it. To me it’s just a piece of paper. And if I love someone I love someone that’s that. I don’t need documents or a ring to prove it.

Really depends on the couple and what is important to you. I'm not sure if this is also the case in Canada, but in the Netherlands you can also register yourselves as a couple officially (or even just that you're cohabiting) and there's some benefits such as being able to buy a house together and it also makes it easier to get married because some of the paperwork is already done. I would assume you don't really go through a full on divorce then either if you decide to break up but I haven't looked into that in particular.

In the US there are a number of tax and legal benefits, including unique property ownership structures, etc. but everyone’s situation is different so it’s def worth looking into how/if it’ll benefit you! I would never ever get married without a prenup though, I think that’s absolutely essential and people who don’t want to sign one should at least read the division of asset laws of their jurisdiction—which the basically the default prenup if you don’t agree on something different.

I wouldn’t buy a house or have kids with someone without being married. I also would make sure to have a prenup in place as well. I don’t have lots of assets but I’d want to protect what’s mine.

^^^ I agree with @maeve_ . Marriage offers legal protections that nothing else will. If kids or major assets are involved, I think marriage is necessary.

@maeve_ @flyaway4me what if you wrote out wills with a lawyer in case something happened instead of going through marriage? In Canada for example you lose some tax benefits by getting married, and you can have the same protections in place if you get a lawyer to write them out for you. Im with you though, I think I lean toward your sides as well

Kind of a contrary point, I could see a case for NOT getting married when buying a house in case one person contributes more to the purchase or wants the house to be in your name. If you split up you may or may not want the house divided equally.

@aurielle I understand this, but kind of crazy to me to want to be with someone for the rest of your lives and feel this way though. If my partner and I are committing to each other and one of us contributes more or the house is in their name, what happens if they die? Im not looking to commit with the thought of things going south, I’d like for them to own that house and be safe if something were to happen to me since I chose them to do life with. It would be sad to me if my partner had that thought in mind but I know this is VERY common since there are some greedy people out there looking to settle for the wrong reasons etc

@falafels_ oh that's now how I thought about it at all. If you die and you want your partner to get the house obviously you should have that written in your will. Not sharing the property equally doesn't preclude that. But if we were to divorce and I had paid significantly more towards the house or a big asset but only end up owning 50% of it I'm basically getting financially screwed. I'm not getting the money I invested into that asset. Suddenly I could be relying on a single income on my own and have no house. Especially as women I think we need to plan smart financially and make sure we can be independent if anything happens. My partner and I bought a car together and contributed 50/50 but the car title is in his name. So I drafted a document saying I would get either 50% of the car's value if we broke up or he'd sell it to me and I'd pay him back his share. Because if we broke up, legally I'd have no car even though I paid for half of it. I simply think it's smart to protect yourself in that way.

@aurielle Just as an flag (since you said you’re engaged) it’s pretty easy to add to a prenup that real property is split proportionally to each partners’ contribution! Even if you haven’t purchased it yet. Or one person can get the property if that’s what you agree to. You should have a contract even if you buy a house w someone without being married, so there aren’t material advantages to not being married—if you’re married you just have more options for the structure of the property ownership and also (some) tax benefits.

@Grazydol8 super helpful, thank you!