hey guys, so me and my bf have been together for over a year and a half and we have sex, but sometimes i feel like hes not attracted to me or he makes it about himself. before we have sex he will finger me for maybe 2 mins and then wants to have sex right afterwards, which i think makes me dry up quickly because i dry up sometimes because tbh sometimes im not even horny enough to have sex. but this one incident happened a few weeks ago, he was eating me out (bc i asked) i almost always have to ask him bc he says he “doesn’t think” about it in the moment, which i find it hard to believe but anyways he got done with eating me out after like 10 mins or so maybe, 10 mins later i ask him to eat me out again bc it felt good and he makes up stuff about how he doesn’t want to and all this, but i thought guys are supposed to make the girl feel good? and want them to feel good? and sometimes after we have sex he will make me finish but it’s like after he cums then all the fun is over because it feels like he’s not horny anymore after he cums. we also can’t ever do it twice, he can’t get hard ever for a second time, it makes me feel really insecure and self conscious so i was just wondering what your guys’ thoughts are?

Have you talked to him about how you feel about that?

@Monkeybutt63 yes, he says he “doesn’t think about it” in the moment to eat me out more or finger me more, he also says he doesn’t know why he can’t get hard a second time and that he’s attracted to me but i just idk

Oops I read that wrong

I mean sex is supposed to be good for both parties and I just think that if he’s not thinking about how you aren’t being pleasured enough by it and he knows that he can’t get hard a second time that he’s just being selfish there’s no reason you should be having sex with him and not finishing but he is

Maybe let him know that you aren’t going to want to keep having sex with him if he’s the only one getting anything from it

@Monkeybutt63 i’ve told him, he is acting upset now too but it seems like almost everytime i express and tell him how i feel he somehow makes it about himself which it makes me feel bad. he acts sad and stuff

That’s manipulation

Whether he’s actually meaning to or not that’s manipulation, personally id probably just want to leave him, I know it’s a hard decision but if he’s going to manipulate you into having bad sex with him I’d leave

@Monkeybutt63 i feel so bad though, i don’t know what to do. he’s a good boyfriend sometimes, he went and got me pads the other day and got me a candy bar and a drink without me asking but idk how i feel honestly, i love him a lot but i can’t get all my thoughts together to tell him how i really feel. almost everytime we argue he always interrupts me and i can’t get my thoughts out how i want to say them

I know it’s definitely hard but you don’t need to settle for that kind of behaviour, that’s not a man that’s a boy. You could do so much better than a manipulator. I can’t help but notice you had to say that he’s a good boyfriend “sometimes” you should be able to have a boyfriend that’s good all the time

@Monkeybutt63 also a back in october of last year, i caught him playing on his computer without me knowing, yeah it’s not a big deal about him playing AT ALL, like i seriously don’t care. it was the fact that every night around this time after i got off work he would be like, “let’s go to bed im so tired” or “i dont want you to be tired let’s go to sleep” but little did i know he had been going and playing his game until about 2-3 am and then would complain about how tired he’d be in the morning and say we needed to go to bed earlier. i caught him bc before he left to take me home i saw he turned his computer on which was weird, bc he’d normally ask or something or say he’s going to, so i asked him and i was like i just feel smt is up and he sworn and promised me nothing was up and then ended up telling me the truth. there’s been a few other incidents where ive caught him lying, not many, but a few and anytime i tell him i don’t believe him he says why, i say “bc of what’s happened in the past” and he always says the past shouldn’t affect the future, which makes no sense bc it literally does.

Why even lie about that, like that’s so stupid if he wanted to play on his computer he should’ve just told you he was going to game, and this is what I mean about the manipulation he’s lying and trying to gaslight you who knows how many times he’s lied and what he’s lying to you about that you just don’t know

It’s that uncertainty that I just wouldn’t be able to live with

“He is a good boyfriend SOMETIMES”. Girl do yourself a favour and get out. This man is fully in it for himself. He really does not care and his actions reflect it. He sounds like an awful guy from what you’ve said here. I understand that you love him but this isn’t what a relationship and love actually is. You can do so much better and actually find someone that cares about you.

My opinion on head is that if a girl says no to head then that’s what she wants to do why do guys get shamed when they don’t wanna go down n??

@Bakeadessert you don’t know the full story… i give him head when he wants but the one time i ask him to do it again he starts making excuses and stuff that don’t even make sense

I’ve been in a relationship like this before. If you’re unhappy sexually and feel uncared for, it can translate to many other areas- building resentment. I have stayed too long in relationships because loved them, not because I was happy. Do yourself a favor and leave- You will find someone who not only cares about you more than they care about themselves in BED, but also in general. You don’t have to be an “afterthought”, and you don’t have to be lied to.