TW: mental health
I’m not even sure where to start here. I have been struggling with my mental health for idek how many years and it’s been really hard. I was never diagnosed with anything but I do want to know, I think it will at least give me an answer as to why im feeling the way i do. I have been seeing my therapist for a while now and have expressed to her that i want to be evaluated for a diagnosis (if there is one). There are periods where i genuinely feel miserable and don’t enjoy anything. I still go to work and take care of my responsibilities, but other than that i just crumble down when i get home. I mentioned to her that it bothers me a lot that i dont remember a lot of things (not specific dates or events) but my life in general. It feels like my memory from earlier years got erased and the older i grow, jt keeps spreading. I dont even know who i am anymore. And again, i did stress how much it bothers me and drives me crazy. I also talked about constantly having racing thoughts that never stop, im always thinking about something its just so exhausting. I get annoyed and incredibly irritated when people talk, i cant concentrate, dont know the last time i had good sleep. My therapist said it could be something physiological or hormonal and to get checked out. I brought up wanting to be assessed for depression and anxiety but she said to be diagnosed with depression i need to fit the criteria of having symptoms for at least two weeks and having good mood once in a while doesn’t really count for depression. She said that when i feel down i could make a choice to either stay in that mood or do something to feel happier. but thats the thing, sometimes i cant even get out of bed to go eat. She said that having a lot of thoughts is normal and i need to work on acknowledging them and kind of letting them be. The whole thing makes me feel like im overblowing the severity of my state. I feel so hopeless and insanely exhausted. Im sorry for such a long rant😭
