Canker/cold sores after sex? Hi guys! So I saw my LDR boyfriend not long ago and the first day of the trip we had oral sex. Like 1-2 days later he got like these uncomfortable and painful white dots on his mouth (under tongue and on the gums) and like 2-3 days later after that I got a cold sore on my lip. I’ve gotten cold sores before, not super often and also I didn’t have it before the trip. For me it made more sense bc the weather was super cold and my lips were dry so I didn’t think much of it. But his sores got a bit bad and then went away some days later. After we left, he got a cold sore (we tried not to kiss or share anything for most of the trip until the goodbye). So for some reason he’s still panicking (saying bc we’ve talked about this a lot and we’re both fine now) and he seems to think I gave him something (as far as I know only the cold sore can be transmitted) but I’ve never ever had the thing he had on his mouth and at first he seemed to think it was an allergic reaction to a sleeping gummy of mine and now he thinks it’s bc of the oral sex or ofc of the cold sore virus. Tbh idk what to think bc I’ve read that anything inside the mouth it’s most likely not something you get from someone but he doesn’t want to go see a doctor so I’m coming here to ask if this has happened to someone….

Mmm cold sores is herpes hun. That’s an STD. How was what he got different from yours? The only way to tell is if he gets a blood test done, and if yall did oral…there’s a high chance it could’ve been transmitted there too. This is something that can be spread via saliva/mucus. You need medication to help with outbreaks. It sounds like he had an initial outbreak, his first one, which is usually really bad. As far as inside the mouth, I just googled and it says it’s not usual but they can appear on the gums or roof of his mouth, I’ve even heard they can appear inside your nose. But they typically occur on the outside. If he got a cold sore after yall left it was probably cold sores he got before. In my experience they will keep popping up until you get on the meds. He should go get tested

@stinaaa I think there might be a bit of confusion here. From what I understand, cold sores are caused by HSV-1, which is very common and not typically considered an STD in the usual sense—most people get exposed to it at some point in life, often outside of sexual contact. Also, I didn’t have an active cold sore at the time we saw each other, so transmission risk would be much lower. The symptoms he had don’t really match a classic herpes outbreak either—he had small white dots on the gums and under the tongue, not fluid-filled blisters or ulcers on the lips, and no flu-like symptoms. From what I’ve read, initial herpes outbreaks are usually more intense and have a different presentation. His seemed more like irritation or canker-type sores rather than HSV. I agree HSV can be transmitted through contact, but I don’t think this situation clearly points to that, especially given the timing, location, and type of symptoms.

Well you did mention you got a cold sore on your lip so I’m just trying to use context clues. Yes it’s true it very common. You can transmit HSV, which is the herpes simplex virus, before during and after an outbreak. So the transmission rate could’ve been high, even if you didn’t have your outbreak yet and were kissing. Best thing is to get tested. Had he gotten cold sores on his lips before? Did he say if the cold sore felt like the other outbreak inside his mouth? I mean it could’ve been an allergic reaction but there literally no one way for anyone to tell him that but a dr.

But from what I understand he think you gave him something when he went down on you? If you don’t have any symptoms I wouldn’t think that would be the case.

@stinaaa no actually cold sores are not an STD. People can be born with them with never having sex of course. Cold sores (oral herpes) are caused by the herpes simplex virus type 1 (HSV-1) and are not generally classified as a sexually transmitted disease (STD). While they can be transmitted through oral sex, they are primarily spread through non-sexual, skin-to-skin contact, such as kissing or sharing utensils. So basically you can have a cold sore and that doesn’t mean it’ll be herpes for sure. Like I’ve had them my entire life but I don’t have herpes. It’s just the virus. If that makes sense

Sure that’s true, it can be passed down through your mother. HSV is 100% herpes though. It’s literally in the name. And you can transfer that to someone genitally and give them genital herpes. It IS the same thing. One is just oral and the other is genital. I have hsv1 so I’m just speaking from my experience. And it’s an STI not an STD, that was right.

Does he have a canker sore possibly? Cold sores (herpes) and canker sores are different. I get cold sores, typically while stressed or during extreme weather changes, and they will tingle and typically form in small, fluid filled clusters. HOWEVER it is possible to get them inside your mouth too, even nose. I get them on the roof my mouth and along my gum line even.

@Mortie21 he didn’t have one on the day we saw each other (neither did I). I’ve always gotten them on the lip but I’ve heard that technically it is possible to have them inside although idk what they would look like… I can imagine they’re more like blisters? But he had like small white dots (not blisters, not red circle around like a canker sore even) under the tongue and on the gums. So if they were cold sores then he developed it somehow while traveling bc I got mine until like 4-5th day… I know that if I get them I start feeling the tingling and burning sensation so if I had it already then I would’ve know. But looks like no one really knows what it was and it’s hard to explain without pictures😩

He should go see a doctor if he is concerned.

It sounds like a canker sore. If he does have canker sores those are not contagious and are not the same as herpes. I personally get them and they don’t pass from partner to partner.