how often do you all see your partners? i feel like my bf actively wouldn’t want to see me like back to back just because - even if he had the time and it’s painful. i feel like for me, a relationship only works if i get to see my partner consistently or at least spend time in other ways. we call every night but sometimes these calls last for only like 1-2 hours … we’ve been together for 3 years and i’m afraid the relationship will get dry because i also just get lonely and sad

You feel like your boyfriend doesn’t want to see you? Feeling alone in a relationship isn’t normal This isn’t how a relationship is supposed to make you feel

How often do you see each other? I assume you don’t live together?

How often are you guys seeing each other?

Long distance and I am in school with only summer and Christmas breaks so not that often lol What would you consider as seeing each other consistently? That can be interpreted so differently depending on a person. Have you expressed yourself to your partner yet?

@bluerose9 :((

@Awg1 like once a week… twice a week if he isn’t completely busy

@aurielle once a week… twice a week if he isn’t completely busy

@Yi_eune yeah i have and he says that he tries his best to see me so maybe it’s just something i need to work on 😭

@mxflo because of how busy I am and my partner is during the week with work/family/friends, we would only see my partner once a week. And we chat on the phone a 1-2 times a week because I sleep early most days. It’s only when we live together that I’d see him daily and chat so often. Is he busy during the week? Or have other responsibilities?

@mxflo I wonder if you're assigning a meaning to his actions based on your particular insecurity. When my partner and I didn't live together we didn't see each other at every available opportunity, and it wasn't because I actively didn't want to see him but rather because just wanted some me time and also time for my friends, work, hobbies etc. So I wouldn't necessarily assume that he doesn't want to see you. Talking on the phone every day for 1-2 hours also seems significant. The fact that you feel sad and lonely also makes me think that maybe you don't feel fulfilled in these other parts of your life outside of him (alone time, friends, hobbies.) That said all relationships have to find their rhythm/balance of seeing each other throughout different stages of the relationship depending on what each partner wants/needs and how busy they are. So it's worth having a conversation if you want to see each other more often, but try not to take it personally if he doesn't need the same amount of face time, it doesn't always mean he doesn't care about you or something

^ definitely something you should discuss, sounds like you have different ideas and expectations when it comes to this aspect of your relationship.

@mxflo but what would you consider as seeing each other consistently?

@Bananass he isn’t necessarily “busy” but he keeps himself busy… how did you used to cope with barely spending time? - i feel like since i’m not busy yet, i think too much and get lonely

@aurielle probably yeah - it might just be a me problem. anyway, thank you for this!

@bluerose9 i agree!

@Yi_eune honestly … maybe 2-3 times a week 😅

thank you all for replying!!! i am okay now and i realized it might just be my period blues 😅😅😅

I completely agree with @aurielle, 1-2 hours on the phone does not seem sustainable to me. I think it’s worth talking to him about it, maybe you can come up with an agreement to try to see each other twice a week instead (even if it’s not for a full day/really long time) & cutting down on phone calls/texting a lot. Focus on getting quality time rather than quantity and make sure you have stuff outside of your relationship to keep you busy and happy x

@mxflo tbh I think I’ve always been busy with other parts of my lives even when I first started dating. I also don’t think it’s possible for me to dedicate so much of my time to my partner without neglecting other parts of life especially my friends and family. I’ve never felt like I need to cope because I’ve never felt the urge to see my partner so often, but I understand if you’re not busy you may want that often.

@Awg1 okay, thank you so much! i was really on the fence and didn’t know if i was blowing things out of proportion ngl …

@Bananass thank you for the input!