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Dec 27 24
17:40
So I went to my boyfriend’s house for Christmas break, which is a week and a half. Before I got to his place I said I wanna spend Christmas break with him and he said him too and that’s fine. After a few days he asked so what’s my plan as in am I staying or going or whatever and I took that as he kind of wants me to leave. I expressed that that made me upset because this is my first Christmas without my family and it really is a sensitive one and I don’t wanna be alone. He said that’s not what he means. The day after he asks me so what are you gonna do today. That made me upset because obviously I’m there to spend time with him and we can do things separate but you don’t ask a guest what they’re gonna do today when they’re at your place. So I went back to my house and then we spend New Year’s together Am I being dramatic for being upset at that?
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Dec 27 24
17:50
Yes you are (no offence or disrespect) it was a simple question to kinda know what you’re literally up to maybe he thought you made plans with other people? He told you that’s not what he meant so you took it out of context, on your part you could have also asked “what do you mean?” instead of getting upset. You could have just answered “nothing, what do you have planned because I did mention that I wanted to do stuff together & I rather not be alone this holiday.”
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Dec 27 24
17:52
@sEechell he’s almost two hours away so he knows I have no friends there so what else would I do lol
 
Dec 27 24
17:53
I agree with @seechell, you are reading a lot into your boyfriend's comments and I would believe him when he says he didn't mean that he wants you to go home. It sounds like this is a very sensitive and triggering time of year for you and maybe you are very sensitive to the idea of not being wanted at his place?
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Dec 27 24
17:55
@Emotal regardless, a lot of people especially men don’t really read to much into things, yes you’re two hours away and you may have no friends there but that doesn’t mean you can’t very well plan things outside of your relationship?
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Dec 27 24
17:56
But if I’ve already expressed this is a sensitive time for me the night before ans that I want to feel more welcome fand then get asked what I’m doing today, like I’m not two hours away from home without anyone there that I know.
 
Dec 27 24
17:57
@sEEchell well yes definitely understanding planning things outside the relationship but I’m only there for a week and a half. We live far from eachother so we see eachother on only weekends.
 
Dec 27 24
18:03
Understandable but you won’t find out what he meant by it since you didn’t ask, instead of getting upset you could of communicated further into his question to see his thought process or what he meant by “what are you going to do today.” You also would of probably gotten some reassurance especially because he said that’s not what he meant, you kinda jumped the gun and guessed well because he’s asking me it means he doesn’t want me here, it was really a simple question. People are not mind readers, you get a lot more out of communicating with your partner.
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Dec 27 24
18:40
^^
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Dec 27 24
19:55
@Emotal seeing each other on weekends is still really frequent. I think you need to stop thinking for him and communicate better. Else it’ll go downhill by creating resentment for no reason
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Dec 27 24
19:59
I get that it might be a sensitive time for you but he isn’t obligated to take responsibility for that fact, that’s up to you really. This guy lost his grandad super recently, cut him some slack..
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Dec 27 24
20:23
I also remembered that you guys haven't been dating super long, have you ever spent an entire week and half together? Since that's a new experience he might not have known how to negotiate you guys doing things together vs. Doing your own thing, or even how to balance what each of you wants to do, which is why he asked.
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